Doubts
by dS-Tiff
Summary: Immediately after the events of the Season 3 episode 'Mother Load', Paige is trying to figure out how to deal with the sudden reappearance of her mother. Time for another impromptu therapy session with Dr. Curtis.


**_This is only my second Scorpion fic and it's another one set around Paige and Toby's friendship. There's something about their friendship that I find really warm and genuine and fun to write about. All comments and feedback welcome, I hope you enjoy it._**

 **DOUBTS**

"Where's Paige?" Happy Quinn leaned close to her fiancé's ear and spoke quietly.

Toby Curtis leaned sideways towards the sound of her voice, but he did not take his eyes off Veronica.

"I don't know?" he replied in a hushed tone.

The impromptu Chinese Thanksgiving meal was all but over and Paige and her mother had just about managed to remain civil to each other throughout, with Paige making a particular effort to be nice. She had allowed Veronica to talk to Ralph at some length, but it was obvious to Toby that inside Paige was in turmoil and she had found it extremely difficult not to physically drag her son away from her mother.

Toby hoped Paige would figure things out with Veronica eventually, but he couldn't help but worry about Ralph. Veronica was duplicitous and deceptive - Paige had been right on the button with that analysis - and Ralph, intelligent as he was, wasn't anywhere near emotionally capable enough to deal with that yet.

Neither was Walter, of course and Toby had noticed something going on between 197 and Paige's mother that he didn't like the look of. As much as he wanted Paige to smooth things over with Veronica for the sake of her emotional well-being, he knew he was going to have to be on full alert if he was going to keep the team in one piece while Paige's mother was around.

"She went to get something from the kitchen," explained Happy, glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one else could hear her. "That was fifteen minutes ago."

Toby finally broke his stare and looked round towards the kitchen , just to confirm for himself that Paige wasn't there. "Oh crap," he mumbled and got up from his seat.

Happy watched him go. "Not good," she said under breath.

Toby found Paige outside in the alley, leaning against the wall of the garage. Much to his dismay she was muttering to herself and twisting her hair tightly around her fingers.

Toby tenderly touched her elbow and she tensed slightly before turning to him. Her face was streaked with tears. "I... I don't have another twenty on me," she said, the corners of her mouth twitching into a weak smile.

"I'm running a two for one special this week," replied Toby .

Paige nodded gratefully, but then she started shaking her head. "I can't do this. I can't just forget what she did," she said. "I...I can't..." she said, her breath hitching.

"No, but you need to find a way to process this," Toby replied. "You've spent far too long blocking out your feelings for her and now suddenly you've been forced to face them and you're completely unprepared."

"I don't want her anywhere near Ralph," she continued. "I know he deserves the chance to get to know his grandmother, but I can't help how I feel."

"You're afraid she's going to hurt him the way she hurt you?" queried Toby and Paige nodded. "That's only natural," he tried to reassure her. "You want to protect your son, but perhaps getting to know him will be good for Veronica? Forming a bond with Ralph could help her to refocus her priorities."

Paige shrugged and sighed deeply. She wanted to believe Toby, but she carried so much pain from her childhood and at this moment she simply couldn't see how she was ever going to move past it.

"Every day when I was a kid she would do something to make me wish she wasn't my mother, Toby. Every single day," Paige began, her nostrils flaring as she got herself more and more worked up. "Now she thinks she can just waltz back into my life and I'll be OK with it. Well she's way off the mark with that one because I'm very much not OK with it. All I wanted was to be a normal kid, with normal parents and to do normal things, but no, not me. My mother only ever paid me any attention when she wanted my help with one of her schemes."

"Paige…" Toby tried to interrupt her, but it was no use.

"I was just a kid, an innocent child, but she thought nothing of using me for illegal activities! I would never do anything like that to Ralph, ever!" she continued, barely pausing for breath. "I love my son with all of my heart, but that woman in there never loved me. A girl needs her mom, I needed her to be my mom, but she just saw me as a tool to make money out of poor, innocent victims. And she used my dad too. He was a decent man, Toby, but he just didn't know what to do with her. Or with me."

"Paige, why don't you…"

"He had to raise me alone for the most part while trying to keep her out of trouble and he had no idea how to do either of those things," Paige's lower lip started to quiver again.

"Paige, I think we should start by…"

"When my dad died..." Paige didn't want to be interrupted, but she suddenly realised that she couldn't finish that sentence and her eyes filled with tears again.

Toby pulled her into a hug as she began to sob. "Come on," he said. "We do need to talk about your dad, but we'll do that another time. Right now I want you to take some deep breaths before you start to hyperventilate and then you're gonna go back in there and talk to her, because if you two don't start having adult conversations you're not going to get anywhere."

"I hate her!" wailed Paige.

"No you don't," replied Toby, easing her away from him by the shoulders so he could look her straight in the eye. "You don't hate her at all. Now breathe."

Paige took two deep breaths. "You're wrong," she replied, her voice a little calmer now.

"Excuse me?" said Toby, indignantly. He looked around the alleyway. "Er, if there are any genius behaviourists here, please raise your hand! " he called out to no-one in particular. He released Paige's left shoulder so he could wave his right hand in the air. "Oh, well look at that," he said, sarcastically.

"But, Toby…" Paige protested.

"I'm never wrong," insisted Toby. Then his voice became gentler again. "If you hated her this would be a whole lot easier for you, but you don't. You love her. Despite everything you love her because she's your mother and that's why you can't reconcile your feelings right now."

Paige nodded slowly as the realisation hit that Toby was absolutely right after all. Fear suddenly washed over her. She had no idea how to sort out the mess in her head. "Help me?" she asked, quietly.

Toby was momentarily stunned at how vulnerable she looked. "Of course I will," he replied. "But you have to trust me."

Paige nodded. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to doubt you."

"Don't do it again," he scolded with a twinkle in his eye and he released his grip on her shoulders.

"I won't," she smiled.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Ready to go back in there and pretend I'm OK with all of this, you mean?" she queried.

"That's pretty much what I was asking," he confirmed. What bothered Toby the most was that he couldn't read Veronica properly. It wasn't often that someone pulled the wool over his eyes, but Paige's mother had done just that more than once today.

Toby could read Paige like a book. He'd known her for almost two and a half years now and they were good friends so it was easy, but Veronica was different and he just hoped he wasn't missing something. He felt sure Paige would find her way to an outcome that was healthy for both her and Ralph, though and whatever happened the team would be there for her of course. Scorpion was her family now, but if she could just start to mend her relationship with her mother then Toby knew she would be able to heal some of those old wounds.

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready," admitted Paige.

"You can do this," said Toby. "Just…just be careful," he added.

Paige's eyes narrowed. "Why did you say that?" she asked.

"Because I want you to be careful," replied Toby, bluntly.

"You know what I mean," continued Paige. "Now it's my turn to read you. You're keeping something from me."

Toby sighed. "OK, I'll admit that I…" he trailed off and considered his next words carefully. "I guess I have a few doubts about Veronica's motives," he explained. "There's something about her that I haven't quite gotten a handle on yet, but I'll figure it out soon because I'm a genius and when I do you'll be the first to know. If it means anything I think she wants to make up for the things she's done."

Paige smiled. "Thank you," she said.

Toby nodded. "You have nothing to worry about, I've got your back," he said reassuringly. "Now are we going to stand out here all night? I think there's still some fortune cookies left, unless Cabe's eaten them all already."

"Then let's go eat some cookies," smiled Paige and, with a newfound determination, she strode back into the garage.

"Everything OK with Paige, Doc?" Happy asked Toby as he re-joined her at the table.

Toby glanced over at Paige who was showing Veronica some photographs on her phone, with Ralph eagerly providing a commentary for his grandma. "Yep," replied Toby with a nod. "It's going to take more than a wayward mother to keep Paige Dineen down for long."

THE END


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